This month’s inspiration was provided by Linda Peterson, President of the LAPD Children’s Support Group.
How You Can Help
Please talk about my loved one, even though he is gone.
It is more comforting to cry than to pretend that he never existed.
I need to talk about him, and I need to do it over and over.
Please be patient with me. Nothing feels secure in my world.
Please be comfortable when I cry. Sadness hits me in waves, and I never know when my tears may flow. Please don’t abandon me or worry you might upset me.
If you don’t know what to say, just come over, give me a hug or touch my arm and gently say “How are you?” You can even say, “I just don’t know what to say, but I care, and want you to know that.”
Just because I look good does not mean that I feel good.
Unfortunately, I will not recover. This is not a cold or the flu. I am grieving. Don’t think that I will be over it in a year. For I am not only grieving his death, but also the person I was when I was with him, the lift that we shared, the plans we had, the places we will never get to go together, and the hopes and dreams that will never come true. My whole world has crumbled and I will never be the same.
I will not always be grieving as intensely, but I will never forget my loved ones and rather than recover, I want to incorporate his life and love into the rest of my life. He is part of me and always will be and sometimes I will remember him with joy and other times with a tear. Both are ok.
I’ve been forced to take on many new responsibilities and roles. It may not look the way you think it should. This will take time and I will never be my old self again. So please, just love me as I am today, and know that with your love and support, the joy will slowly return to my life.