Inspirations

I don’t hate change – I hate being forced to change.

Change does not occur in a straight line. It is a journey that flows through a series of phases as people come to terms with the change.
- Dennis Jafee & Cynthia Scott

 So above I mentioned something I learned in school.  First a little lesson on your brain, yes, I said brain.  We all have an Amygdala and a Pre-Frontal Cortex.  Each works differently and they don't necessarily work together.  The Amygdala takes over and reacts in survival mode.  It increases our adrenaline/cortisol, it decreases our productivity, we become less creative, we become forgetful, our focus is narrow and we are less able to problem solve. The Pre-Frontal Cortex takes over when we feel good, it is our pleasure mode, we think clearly, access long term memory, become more creative, we have clarity in complex problem solving, generate ideas and have a broader perspective on issues.

So does any of this sound familiar?  It should, because my Amygdala took years to balance out so my Pre-Frontal Cortex could start running the show.  

There are things in life that can set our Amygdala off without our realizing it.  As it is, many of us are in a vulnerable state. Wouldn't it be useful to learn something about why we feel comfortable or uncomfortable in certain situations.  Let me introduce you to S.C.A.R.F.  

• STATUS – RELATIVE IMPORTANCE TO OTHERS
• CERTAINTY – ABILITY TO PREDICT THE FUTURE
• AUTONOMY – SENSE OF CONTROL OVER EVENTS
• RELATEDNESS – SENSE OF SAFETY WITH OTHERS
• FAIRNESS – PERCEPTION OF FAIR EXCHANGES

This simple test will let you know what is important to you and because they are important you become vulnerable or uncomfortable when these things are challenged or don't feel secure. Knowing your preferences within the SCARF model can help you:

• Understand your own reactions and those of others
• Better regulate your emotions
• Better communicate your needs to others
• Make choices more suited to your own preferences

 To access the free assessment go to:
http://www.scarfsolutions.com/SelfAssessment.aspx

This is also proven science.  It is not something I pulled out of my UCI hat but it is something I found fascinating and wanted to share.  In class grief was actually discussed as how we are affected by all things in life and if we know what might set off an insecurity we can better understand why we feel the way we feel and be able to deal with it and not be in denial or ignore it.