A practice of holding on and letting go
of letting in and letting out
of falling and rising
of speaking and listening
of honoring and living
of trembling and soothing
of carving out a space for love and loss to coexist
in our heads and in our hearts.
A practice of being human.

We think about you always.
We talk about you still.

You have never been forgotten,
and you never will.
​
We hold you close within our hearts,
and there you will remain.

To walk and guide us through our lives,
until we meet again.

by Zahahd Irfan

​Those special memories of you
will always bring a smile
if only I could have you back
just for a while
Then we could sit and talk again
just like we used to do
You always meant so very much
and always will do too
The fact that you're no longer here
will always cause me pain
but you're forever in my heart
until we meet again.

1.) They move on. They don’t waste time feeling sorry for themselves.
2.) They embrace change. They welcome challenges.
3.) They stay happy. They don’t waste energy on things they can’t control.
4.) They are kind, fair, and unafraid to speak up.
5.) They are willing to take calculated risks.
6.) They celebrate other people’s success. They don’t resent that success.

A new start brings about so many unknowns that you may fear, but you will never know what good can come by staying where you are! Let go of your fears and allow yourself to imagine what possibilities life can bring this year.
“If all you can do is crawl,
start crawling.”
– Rumi

​It's not always easy, but try to let in joy and gratitude. Find ways to relax, recharge, and connect with others during the holidays. "Grief and Gratitude can sit at the same table." We can mourn and grieve for our losses, but also embrace the things that we are grateful for during the holidays and days to come.

"Grieving is a lengthy process. In the beginning, it is all-encompassing. With time, it lessens and will come on in smaller bouts. It is very much like waves when it comes on, and you must ride that wave until the next break. Just know there will be a break."
- Kasia Ciszewski LPC
5 Reasons Grief Comes in Waves (And How to Deal with it)

“Sometimes people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them”

Others won't always honor you and your family members by allowing you to communicate the depth of your emotional reaction to your losses without any implication that "you shouldn't feel as sad as you do." The bottom line is simple. All loss is experienced at 100%. There are no half grievers. That does not mean that all losses are equal or are perceived at the same level of emotional intensity. It just means that the emotional pain is unique to each griever and to the relationship they had with the person who has passed.

- griefrecoverymethod.com

Finding peace while grieving is definitely personal to each widow.  How to “feel at peace” isn’t easy, but it is a necessary part of our journey so that our hearts can heal.
Some widows turn to spiritual reading, whether it’s the bible or something inspirational. Meditation and exercise are also good for you, plus being out in nature or listening to music can have the same calming effect.

More on How to Feel at Peace...

"We are not either happy or sad. We are not either grieving or grateful. We are not either content or despairing. We are both/and. In early grief, it is hard if not impossible to imagine ever being happy again, and yet, slowly, moments in touch with joy accrue by seconds and minutes and, later, hours or even days of contentment. Gradually, we regain the capacity to feel joyful, and we feel this in the same space as grieving. Even in moments of joy or lightness, we still know grief—because there is always this ongoing longing for our loved one, for their voice, for their hug, for their touch, for their simple presence. We may also feel grateful for what we have even as we experience despair over what we’ve lost."

by Joanne Cacciatore
Read more...  Bearing the Unbearable 

The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you’ll learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.
​
ELISABETH KUBLER-ROSS

All you need is one safe anchor to keep you grounded when the rest of your life spins out of control.
- KATIE KACVINSKY

The Family Support Group is always here for you, to be a safe anchor.

Where To Find Inspiration (When You’re Not Feeling Inspired)​
Navigating our way through a pandemic, mourning the loss of a loved one, and staying inspired when everything feels upside down can be a challenge. Here's an article we stumbled across with some great ways to GET INSPIRED...

• 1 Peruse through Instagram
• 2 Listen to Podcasts
• 3 Pinterest for great ideas
• 4 Pickup a good book
• 5 TED Talks or YouTube 
• 6 Talk with someone
• 7 Get some sleep

The most important thing to remember when you’re not feeling inspired is that it’s okay; no one is inspired 24/7. Be kind to yourself, give it time. It will all work out in the end! 
​Read the full article here  

1. The past cannot be changed
2. Opinions don't define your reality
3. Everyone's journey is different
4. Things always get better with time
5. Judgements are a confession of character
6. Overthinking will lead to sadness
7. Happiness is found within
8. Positive thoughts create positive things
9. Smiles are contagious
10. Kindness is free
11. You only fail if you quit
12. What goes around, comes around

​This Christmas, 
May all my family members and friends who need a miracle be blessed.
May whoever is feeling unwell and weak be given strength.
May all of those who have heavy burdens have their load lightened.
May your Christmas be one filled with happiness and joy.