"I find the great thing in this world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving: To reach the port of heaven, we must sail sometimes with the wind and sometimes against it,—but we must sail, and not drift, nor lie at anchor."
— Oliver Wendell Holmes
“Some things cannot be fixed; they can only be carried. Grief like yours, love like yours, can only be carried.
Survival in grief, even eventually building a new life alongside grief, comes with the willingness to bear witness, both to yourself and to the others who find themselves inside this life they didn’t see coming. Together, we create real hope for ourselves, and for one another. We need each other to survive...”
— Megan Devine
It's OK That You're Not OK
🍀Irish Proverb ~ There are good ships, and there are wood ships, the ships that sail the sea. But the best ships are friendships, and may they always be. May your day be touched with a bit of Irish luck, Brightened by a song in your heart, And warmed by smiles from the people you love.
Grief changes us
The pain sculpts us
Into someone who
Understands more deeply
Hurts more often
Appreciates more quickly
Cries more easily
Hopes more desperately
Loves more openly.
I had my own notion of grief. I thought it was the sad time that followed the death of someone you love. And you had to push through it to get to the other side. But I'm learning there is no other side. There is no pushing through. But rather, there is absorption. Adjustment. Acceptance. And grief is not something you complete, But rather, you endure. Grief is not a task to finish and move on, But an element of yourself. An alteration of your being. A new way of seeing a new definition of self.
Never allow yourself to feel guilty for missing someone.
It's just your heart reminding you how much you love them.💗
Let the day flow with grace.
Expect nothing. Give thanks.
Surrender. Be open.
Speak only kindness.
Impart only love.
Never forget you're not alone.
Give so you may receive.
See goodness in others.
Grief starts to become indulgent, and it doesn't serve anyone, and it's painful. But if you transform it into remembrance, then you're magnifying the person you lost and also giving something of that person to other people, so they can experience something of that person.
It's not easy, some of our most valued and fulfilling experiences are often colored with a tinge of pain. Good days and bad days will be quite normal for you to see-saw up and down between feelings of coping and despair. As time goes on you will experience more peaks and fewer troughs and the troughs will become progressively shallower.
Part of coping with grief is learning to tolerate and work through painful emotions; it's normal to to feel feel frustration and depression – but please believe it is worth it EVERY DAY to take a deep breath, and START AGAIN.
If you’ve cut out activities that used to be an important part of your life, it may be time to try scheduling them back in. Some of these activities may no longer feel pleasurable, if they remind you of your loved one, they require effort, or force you to confront difficult emotions.... you should consider scheduling them in anyway.
Forever in our Heart
Those we love can never be
more than a thought apart,
for as long as there's a memory
they live on in our heart.
Grief never ends
...but it changes.
It's a passage, not a place to stay.
Grief is not a sign of weakness,
nor a lack of faith...
It is the price of love.
~ Author Unknown
As I sit in heaven
And watch you everyday
I try to let you know with signs
I never went away
I hear you when you’re laughing
And watch you as you sleep
I even place my arms around you
To calm you as you weep
I see you wish the days away
Begging to have me home
So I try to send you signs
So you know you are not alone
Don’t feel guilty that you have
Life that was denied to me
Heaven is truly beautiful
Just you wait and see
So live your life, laugh again
Enjoy yourself, be free
Then I know with every breath you take
You’ll be taking one for me…
There is the never ending pile of laundry, food prep, emails, etc that could always use our attention. It's easy to make excuses for why we can't make ourselves a priority - the expense, the time... but when you take care of yourself, YOU'LL FEEL GREAT!
So what are you doing to feel great?
What can you do to "fill your well" and rejuvenate?
Please take time to do something you love; because you deserve it.
Love is patient; Love is kind, Love does not insist on its own way. Love bears all things, believes all things, Hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
I Corinthians 13:4-8
Refuse to let the loss overshadow your blessings.
“You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love.”
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It is in that moment when we are brave enough to share our thoughts with a fellow griever, and they nod, smile and understand that we know that we are not alone.