It's not easy, some of our most valued and fulfilling experiences are often colored with a tinge of pain. Good days and bad days will be quite normal for you to see-saw up and down between feelings of coping and despair. As time goes on you will experience more peaks and fewer troughs and the troughs will become progressively shallower.
Part of coping with grief is learning to tolerate and work through painful emotions; it's normal to to feel feel frustration and depression – but please believe it is worth it EVERY DAY to take a deep breath, and START AGAIN.
If you’ve cut out activities that used to be an important part of your life, it may be time to try scheduling them back in. Some of these activities may no longer feel pleasurable, if they remind you of your loved one, they require effort, or force you to confront difficult emotions.... you should consider scheduling them in anyway.
Forever in our Heart
Those we love can never be
more than a thought apart,
for as long as there's a memory
they live on in our heart.
Grief never ends
...but it changes.
It's a passage, not a place to stay.
Grief is not a sign of weakness,
nor a lack of faith...
It is the price of love.
~ Author Unknown
As I sit in heaven
And watch you everyday
I try to let you know with signs
I never went away
I hear you when you’re laughing
And watch you as you sleep
I even place my arms around you
To calm you as you weep
I see you wish the days away
Begging to have me home
So I try to send you signs
So you know you are not alone
Don’t feel guilty that you have
Life that was denied to me
Heaven is truly beautiful
Just you wait and see
So live your life, laugh again
Enjoy yourself, be free
Then I know with every breath you take
You’ll be taking one for me…
There is the never ending pile of laundry, food prep, emails, etc that could always use our attention. It's easy to make excuses for why we can't make ourselves a priority - the expense, the time... but when you take care of yourself, YOU'LL FEEL GREAT!
So what are you doing to feel great?
What can you do to "fill your well" and rejuvenate?
Please take time to do something you love; because you deserve it.
Love is patient; Love is kind, Love does not insist on its own way. Love bears all things, believes all things, Hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
I Corinthians 13:4-8
Refuse to let the loss overshadow your blessings.
“You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love.”
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It is in that moment when we are brave enough to share our thoughts with a fellow griever, and they nod, smile and understand that we know that we are not alone.
Grief is NOT a disorder, a disease or a sign of weakness.
It is an emotional, physical and spiritual necessity,
the price you pay for love...
The only cure for grief is to GRIEVE...
Grief changes us
The pain sculpts us
Into someone who
Understands more deeply
Hurts more often
Appreciates more quickly
Cries more easily
Hopes more desperately
Loves more openly
Healing through grief
is not about
to STOP missing you.
It is about learning
to live my life
WHILE missing you.
The reality is you will grieve forever. You will not get over the loss of a loved one...
You will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same again. Nor should you be the same... nor should you want to.
Marijo shared this book with us. This is how it starts...
"The world is full of faces. Some familiar, some unfamiliar. Many are constant companions. They belong to those closest to us - a friend, a parent, a grandparent, a spouse, or a child. But one day a face is missing.......It's presence is no longer there. There's an empty spot, but not for long. A new face emerges to take it's place. It's unfamiliar and unfriendly. It's the face of grief.
It's not a comfortable place. It's not where you want to reside, but for a time longer than you wish, you will. Often it will hurt, confuse, upset and frighten you.
The more we stand and fight, the more exhausted we become. The more you accept it, hold out your arms to it, embrace it, the more you will recover..."
Looking forward to share this amazing little book with you all when we get it..
(This is what the FSG is about)
"As you reach forward with one hand, Accept the advice of those who have gone before you,
And in the same manner reach back with the other hand to those who follow you;
For life is a fragile chain of experiences held together by love.
Take pride in being a strong link in that chain. Discipline yourself, but do not be harsh.
The pleasures of life are yours to be taken. Share them with others, but always remember that you, too, have earned the right to partake.
Know those who love you; love is the finest of all gifts and is received only to be given. Embrace those who truly love you; for they are few in a lifetime…
Then return that love tenfold, radiating it from your heart to fill their lives as sunlight warms the darkest corners of the earth. Love is a journey, not a destination; Travel its path daily. Do this and your troubles will be a fleeting as footprints in the sand. When loneliness is your companion and all about you seem to be gone, pause and listen, for the sound of loneliness is silence, and in silence we hear best. Listen well, and your moments of silence will always be broken by the gentle words of encouragement spoken by those of us who love you."
Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.
Mother Teresa - Catholic Nun, Missionary, Nobel Peace Prize Recipient
"There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as if everything is."
Look at a day when you are supremely satisfied at the end.
It's not a day when you lounge around doing nothing;
it's when you've had everything to do, and you've done it.